On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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