i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
