She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
