I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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