Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
