i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
