I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
