I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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