After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
40s are totally the cure
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
