stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
