i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
