..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
