Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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