oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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