You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
