i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
