Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
A+ Viking dick
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
