Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize