Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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