i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
