Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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