Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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