It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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