Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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