Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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