"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
