My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
