found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
