life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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