just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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