Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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