Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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