I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
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