sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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