I faked an abortion last night.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
