It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
