god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
