Little spoons don't ask big questions
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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