There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
