new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
