you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
