Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
