Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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