You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize