when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it glows. i had to have it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
