Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
MIDGETS
????
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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