Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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