I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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