if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
