I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize