I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
