As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
