it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Church boner. Awkwardddd
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
