Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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